hineni
hineni LYRICS
Hineni, he’ani mima’as
Nir’ash v’nifchad, mi mi ani
Bati la’amod u’l’hitchanein lefanecha
Af al pi she’eini ch’dai v’hagun le’chach
Lachein avakesh mimcha adon hamechilah
Bochein levavot, shome’a tefilah
Goleh amukot, ayom v’nora, Shadai
Heyeh na matzliach darki
V’kabel tefilati kit’filat tzadik v’zakai
Im kol na’im u’firko na’eh
U’me’urav bada’at im kol habriyot
Al na tafshi’eim b’chatotai
V’al techai’vem b’avonotai
V’al yehi shum michshol bitefilati
Ki chote u’foshei’a ani
Bati la’amod u’l’hitchanein lefanecha
Af al pi she’eini ch’dai v’hagun le’chach
Lachein avakesh mimcha adon hamechilah
Bochein levavot, shome’a tefilah
Goleh amukot, ayom v’nora, Shadai
Ki ata shome’a tefilah v’rotzeh bitshuvah
Baruch ata, shome’a tefilah
הִנְנִי הֶעָנִי מִמַּעַשׂ
נִרְעָשׁ וְנִפְחַד מִי מִי אֲנִי
בָּאתִי לַעֲמֹד וּלְהִתְחַנֵּן לְפָנֶיךָ
אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵינִי כְדַאי וְהָגוּן לְכַךְ
לָכֵן אֲבַקֵּשׁ מִמְּךָ אֲדוֹן הַמְּחִילָה
בּוֹחֵן לְבָבוֹת, שׁוֹמֵעַ תְּפִלָּה
גּוֹלֶה עֲמֻקּוֹת, אָיֹם וְנוֹרָא שַׁדַי
הֱיֵה נָא מַצְלִיחַ דַּרְכִּי
וְקַבֵּל תְּפִלָּתִי כִּתְפִלַּת צַדִּיק וְזַכַּאי
אִם קוֹל נָעִים וּפִרְקוֹ נָאֶה
וּמְעוּרָב בְּדַעַת עִם כָּל הַבְּרִיּוֹת
אַל נָא תַּפְשִׁיעֵם בְּחַטֹּאתַי
וְאַל תְּחַיְּבֵם בַּעֲווֹנוֹתַי
וְאַל יְהִי שׁוּם מִכְשׁוֹל בִּתְפִלָּתִי
כִּי חוֹטֵא וּפוֹשֵׁעַ אָנִי
בָּאתִי לַעֲמֹד וּלְהִתְחַנֵּן לְפָנֶיךָ
אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵינִי כְדַאי וְהָגוּן לְכַךְ
לָכֵן אֲבַקֵּשׁ מִמְּךָ אֲדוֹן הַמְּחִילָה
בּוֹחֵן לְבָבוֹת, שׁוֹמֵעַ תְּפִלָּה
גּוֹלֶה עֲמֻקּוֹת, אָיֹם וְנוֹרָא שַׁדַי
כִּי אַתָּה שׁוֹמֵעַ תְּפִלָּה וְרוֹצֶה בִּתְשׁוּבָה
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה שׁוֹמֵעַ תְּפִלָּה
Here I am,
lacking in merit,
Trembling and frightened –
who, who am I?
I have come to plead before you
even though I am unfit and unworthy to do so.
Therefore I request of you,
Master of Forgiveness, Heart-Searcher,
Prayer-Listener, Revealer of Deep Secrets,
Awesome and Wondrous, Sha’Da’i:
May the path I embark on be successful.
Accept my prayer like it is the prayer of the righteous and innocent.
Accept it as though it is sung out in a sweet voice.
Accept it as though it is prayed by someone whose life has been well spent,
by someone who is deeply interconnected with the people and the world around them.
Please, do not hold these people to blame for my sins.
Do not find them guilty for my misdeeds.
May there not be a stumbling in my prayer,
for I am careless and have surely sinned.
I have come to plead before you
even though I am unfit and unworthy to do so.
Therefore I request of you,
Master of Forgiveness, Heart-Searcher,
Prayer-Listener, Revealer of Deep Secrets,
Awesome and Wondrous, Sha’Da’i:
And You listen to prayers
And desire us to return…
Blessed are You, Prayer-Listener.
(Bold words are words and names for God that I added to the traditional text because I personally would want refer to God by these names at this particular moment)
Melody by Josh Warshawsky
here i am.
The Definition of Imposter Syndrome
That is what Hineni is in its essence.
הִנְנִי הֶעָנִי מִמַּעַשׂ, נִרְעָשׁ וְנִפְחַד מִי מִי אֲנִי
“Here I am, lacking in merit, trembling and frightened – who, who am I??”
The Shaliach Tzibbur (prayer leader) recites these words right before they begin to lead the congregation in the Musaf (additional) prayers for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
בָּאתִי לַעֲמֹד וּלְהִתְחַנֵּן לְפָנֶיךָ אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵינִי כְדַאי וְהָגוּן לְכַךְ
לָכֵן אֲבַקֵּשׁ מִמְּךָ אֲדוֹן הַמְּחִילָה, בּוֹחֵן לְבָבוֹת, שׁוֹמֵעַ תְּפִלָּה,
גּוֹלֶה עֲמֻקּוֹת, אָיֹם וְנוֹרָא שַׁדַי
“I have come to plead before you even though I am unfit and unworthy to do so. Therefore I request of you, Master of Forgiveness, Heart-Searcher, Prayer-Listener, Revealer of Deep Secrets, Awesome and Wondrous, ShaDaI…”
I’m not the right person for this task! I don’t know how I was possibly chosen for this. And so I call out to God using these names of infinite openness, baring my soul with honesty and clarity. May I humbly ask:
הֱיֵה נָא מַצְלִיחַ דַּרְכִּי וְקַבֵּל תְּפִלָּתִי כִּתְפִלַּת צַדִּיק וְזַכַּאי
אִם קוֹל נָעִים וּפִרְקוֹ נָאֶה וּמְעוּרָב בְּדַעַת עִם כָּל הַבְּרִיּוֹת
אַל נָא תַּפְשִׁיעֵם בְּחַטֹּאתַי, וְאַל תְּחַיְּבֵם בַּעֲווֹנוֹתַי,
וְאַל יְהִי שׁוּם מִכְשׁוֹל בִּתְפִלָּתִי. כִּי חוֹטֵא וּפוֹשֵׁעַ אָנִי.
“May the path I embark on be successful. Accept my prayer like it is the prayer of the righteous and innocent. Accept it as though it is sung out in a sweet voice. Accept it as though it is prayed by someone whose life has been well spent, by someone who is deeply interconnected with the people and the world around them.”
“Please, do not hold these people to blame for my sins. Do not find them guilty for my misdeeds. May there not be a stumbling in my prayer, for I am careless and have surely sinned.”
Do you ever feel this way?
The 40 days leading up to the High Holidays begin a period of introspection.
What would it look like for you to truly embody the person you hope to be?
What steps can you take to be the best version of yourself this year, and how can we grow to accept ourselves even if we have fallen short?
(Hineni is the personal prayer that the Shaliach Tzibbur (prayer leader/messenger of the congregation) recites on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur before the Musaf Amidah (standing prayer/main prayer of the service). It is a petition and an intention setting. A clearing of the mind and a preparation of the soul for the task at hand: praying and asking forgiveness on behalf of all of the members of the community gathered, and leading the community through these atonement prayers. The honest prayer leader knows they are unworthy of this task, but still ask that their prayer be heeded as if it is from someone worthy, and let the community gathered not be held accountable for the leader’s own sins. The words in bold were my own personal small additions to the prayer of names I would want to use to address God in this moment.
Hineni by Rabbi Josh Warshawsky. Executive Producer: Marc and Susan Sacks. Produced and mixed by Jeremy Lawrence. Engineered by Patrick Kehrier and Tyler Karmen. Vocal arrangements and production by Ayo Awosika. Musical Direction by Brock Pollock. Directed by Dustin Warren. Produced by The Matterworks. Cinematography by Dustin Warren and Ricky Sanchez. Edited by Dustin Warren. Additional footage taken at Tifereth Israel in Columbus, Ohio Sponsored by: Congregation Beth Shalom, Northbrook, IL
Additional funding provided by Word: Bruce Geller Memorial Prize (Word is a program of American Jewish University’s Institute for Jewish Creativity. Word: Bruce Geller Memorial Prize is made possible by the late Jeanette Geller in memory of her husband Bruce)
The Chaverai Nevarech Band: Coleen Dieker, Chava Mirel, Brock Pollock, Ayo Awosika, Duvid Swirsky,
Lior Shragg, Deborah Sacks Mintz, Jackson Vance Mercer and Jenni Asher
